Updated: May 12, 2020
I took this picture a couple of years ago. It’s a picture of Jake and Cullen’s first night together. It’s a picture of a dream come true. A dream I didn’t even know I had.
When I was younger I never really thought much about children. I wasn’t the girl that dreamed of being a mom. Jared and I talked about having a son “one day” and we would name him Jacob. That was all the thought I ever gave to motherhood.
I had a plan. A plan for a career, self sufficiency and independence.
But God, in his great mercy, had his own plans for me.
Apparently, Jared wanted more than one child. This is probably something I should have known before marriage, but there were other important topics to discuss like paint colors and how often we would eat at Chick Fil A.
It turns out he wanted 2 or 3. And I wanted 1. So we compromised and had 6.
And I love every minute of it. This picture captures the 7 year wait for a brother. A roommate. A partner in crime. An ally. A Jedi. After years of sisters and princess movies and tutus and tea parties, finally a brother.
Don’t be afraid to let God write your story. I wanted to control everything and everyONE in my life but when God took me completely out of control I found something unexpected. I found joy. I found purpose. I found Jesus. And I’ll never be the same.
God’s plans are so much better than ours. That doesn’t mean this isn’t hard or that it comes easy. At times it is overwhelming and I feel unqualified. That is when I find myself fully dependent on the God who created these children. And as it turns out fully dependent is a pretty great place to be. My hands are full, my cup is full, my house is full. My heart overflows!
Proverbs 16:8 “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”