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Parenting Backward

Updated: May 14, 2020

There’s a fire in my soul. It began to burn in 2012. I became so weary of keeping up with the Joneses. I grew tired of trying to impress people. I began to dream of a different kind of life, a free life.

In those early days of 2012, I was a mama of four children under age 8. We scheduled our lives around private school for my oldest child, t-ball for my 4 year old son, and  dance lessons for the 2 year old. Add in caring for the baby, church two days a week, some volunteer hours at a pregnancy center, and a husband who works 60+ hours per week and you’ve created a mess. A mess that runs from here to there and there to here.

Run. Run. Eat. Run. Sleep. Run. Run. Run.

I always get a little push back from this type of talk. Yes, I know organized sports are good for your kid. Yes, I know your little darling will be the next star on Broadway. Extracurricular activities look great on their college applications! Maybe. But I was tired. Too tired to care about any of that.

So I quit. I quit thinking about what others thought was best for my kids. I stopped worrying about what people would say. I pulled my daughter out of school and cleared as much as I could from our calendar. I found true freedom! I began to think about what was truly best for my kids. In this season of evaluation, I began to seek the Lord. I sincerely wanted to know what he wanted from me as a mother. He brought me to two verses over and over and over.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. After thinking about these two powerful scriptures, I began to see the relationship between them. If I genuinely have no greater joy than for my children to walk in the truth of the gospel then I must make time for impressing the Word of God on their hearts.


I am well aware that there is no secret formula with a guarantee of success. This isn’t that. If you are searching for a blogger who has perfectly behaved children, a spotless home and a homecooked meal every night- I am NOT her. I am simply here to encourage you; if you’ve been feeling the same fire in your soul fan those flames, mama!

Allowing the word of God to permeate every parenting decision has radically changed our lives. With my newly emptied schedule I created time with my children.

Time to walk and talk about Jesus.

Time to sit and read our bibles.

Time to answer (or look up answers!) tough questions about scripture.

Time to write verses and study them together.

Time. Time. Time.

And that time together has created a deep love for one another, especially between siblings.

Now we seem to have lots of time. Our days are mostly unscheduled with the exception of a very few things. As time has passed we have very carefully added an activity or two here and there. One happens to be a dance class for my girl who just might end up on Broadway. Time together is abundant and isn’t that what we all really want?

No matter how much time we have in our days, it all feels like it moves to quickly. I have found the old adage “the days are long but the years are short” to be accurate. Each day seems to move more quickly than the last and I feel the responsibility in a whole new way as my children get older. One thing is certain, one day I will give an account to God for the six lives he has entrusted into my care. Above all else, I long to hear him say “well done, my good and faithful servant.”

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