Updated: May 14, 2020
Fear causes us to do strange things. As I made my way through the aisles of the grocery store today I came upon a shelf of items that have been out of stock recently. Many have searched stores all over the country to find this hot item- I bet you can guess what it is! Yep, toilet paper, it was a 24 pack! “I don’t need toilet paper, I’ve got plenty.” My type b personality reasoned. As I started to leave I noticed people quickly grabbing the packs and the supply was starting to dwindle. The earlier voice of reason was silenced and overcome with fear as I backed up and snatched my own pack dropping safely into my cart.
I didn’t even need it. Fear convinced me to buy it.
I imagine you could recall a time when fear convinced you to do something you hadn’t planned on doing. Such is the case with our dear friend, Peter, in the denial of Jesus. You’ve heard the story but today I want you to read through passage.
Then they seized him (Jesus) and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house, and Peter was following at a distance. 55 And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. 56 Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with him.” 57 But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” 58 And a little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.” 59 And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, “Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean.” 60 But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. 61 And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” 62 And he went out and wept bitterly.
Now go back and read verse 61 and just sit on that for a moment. “And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.”
Well, that stings a bit.
I can imagine Peter’s face becoming hot, maybe red. He wept openly and bitterly. He can not make sense of what has transpired. He is in the midst of the most uncertain time of his life and when questioned about the most important person in his life he denies knowing him. And while Jesus has tried to prepare him (and the others) for what is happening, one can never be fully prepared for this type of thing.
Now Peter was not a half-hearted follower of Christ. He had been a companion, walking away from his own plans to follow Jesus. In the same evening that Peter had drawn his sword to fight for Jesus he hid his face to deny him. This makes Peter so real to me, so human, so…me.
I will openly praise God for his provision and faithfulness while trusting in my 48 rolls of toilet paper. And the Savior’s eyes meet mine.
I will sing of how I want him to draw me deeper into trusting and cry out when I feel out of control. And the Savior’s eyes met mine.
I will teach about his miracles and seek out my own solutions. And the Savior’s eyes met mine.
I will meditate on his words of faith, hope and security and worry about what tomorrow holds. And the Savior’s eyes met mine.
I will read about his unfailing love and neglect his presence because I wonder how he could love someone like me. And the Savior’s eyes met mine.
I am Peter.
And the Savior’s eyes meet mine.
I believe, Jesus. Help my unbelief. ❤